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9/6/2017 9:50:32 PMOld jewish lady 

shakey216
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,956)
Lecanto, FL
64, joined Mar. 2010


A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Ft. Myers.

She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.

"How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" She asked.

Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ", he answered, and again he resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, "Do you like p*ssy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life.

When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

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9/6/2017 11:00:03 PMOld jewish lady 

jack_sunset
Over 2,000 Posts (3,297)
Cameron, LA
41, joined Jul. 2016




That's A Good One



9/7/2017 9:43:11 AMOld jewish lady 

jimnastics
Over 1,000 Posts (1,885)
Kingston, NJ
52, joined Oct. 2006


She should have asked that first.

9/7/2017 11:10:35 AMOld jewish lady 
nick269
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (54,107)
Akron, OH
57, joined Jun. 2011




9/7/2017 1:58:15 PMOld jewish lady 

packersbabe920
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (91,666)
Green Bay, WI
52, joined Jul. 2013




9/13/2017 3:12:36 AMOld jewish lady 

001snatch
Over 2,000 Posts (3,045)
Marysville, WA
57, joined Aug. 2013
online now!


Lmao.

10/6/2017 11:43:27 AMOld jewish lady 

bald1954
Over 2,000 Posts (3,516)
Cold Brook, NY
63, joined Sep. 2009


An old Jewish lady told me the difference between a schlemiel & a schlimazel.

She explained:

a schlemiel is a guy that spills his soup.

The schlimazel is the guy he spills it on.

note:
Yiddish is not the only source of rich cultural tradition in humor.
Natives of Poland for example may know of many such charming if not revered traditions.

In the latter case, it may be the basis upon which the Polish joke genre is based.

10/6/2017 2:31:07 PMOld jewish lady 

jack_sunset
Over 2,000 Posts (3,297)
Cameron, LA
41, joined Jul. 2016


Quote from bald1954:
An old Jewish lady told me the difference between a schlemiel & a schlimazel.

She explained:

a schlemiel is a guy that spills his soup.

The schlimazel is the guy he spills it on.

note:
Yiddish is not the only source of rich cultural tradition in humor.
Natives of Poland for example may know of many such charming if not revered traditions.

In the latter case, it may be the basis upon which the Polish joke genre is based.


I Can't Help But Think Of Laverne & Shirley.

10/6/2017 3:50:26 PMOld jewish lady 

bald1954
Over 2,000 Posts (3,516)
Cold Brook, NY
63, joined Sep. 2009


"I Can't Help But Think Of Laverne & Shirley." js

Topless?
Riding bicycles with colorful streamers extending from the handlebars?

EVERYbody thinks that dood.

Enjoy your weekend.

10/6/2017 5:00:18 PMOld jewish lady 

jack_sunset
Over 2,000 Posts (3,297)
Cameron, LA
41, joined Jul. 2016


Quote from bald1954:
Topless?
Riding bicycles with colorful streamers extending from the handlebars?

EVERYbody thinks that dood.

Enjoy your weekend.




You Too, Bald.

10/6/2017 5:30:08 PMOld jewish lady 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (275,931)
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010


Oy vey!

10/6/2017 6:04:06 PMOld jewish lady 

bald1954
Over 2,000 Posts (3,516)
Cold Brook, NY
63, joined Sep. 2009


cc !

It's a jokes forum!

Relax!

BTW
Barry Farber said:

- Oy, it's 7,000 years of Jewish history compressed into a single syllable.

Enjoy your weekend cc.

10/6/2017 6:55:59 PMOld jewish lady 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (275,931)
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010


I'll chose the time for me to relax,sweetie.

I have issues with the old Jewish broad on a beach concept being humorous.

Perhaps, sweetness, you should practice being funny.

10/6/2017 9:35:44 PMOld jewish lady 

bald1954
Over 2,000 Posts (3,516)
Cold Brook, NY
63, joined Sep. 2009


It's a superb idea cc.

But I take insight from Mary Poole:
"The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is." Mary Pettibone Poole

I may not be funny. I tried to quote someone that is.

The neighbor I quoted was a charmer.
I enjoyed her telling it to me.
I'd hoped someone here might enjoy my retelling it.

Apart from that, we've got an out.
This isn't a "funny" forum. It's not a "humor" forum.
It's a "Jokes" forum.

10/6/2017 9:44:23 PMOld jewish lady 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (275,931)
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010


Nevenmind,Bald ....now I know why you are bald.

10/11/2017 7:35:45 PMOld jewish lady 
cupocheer
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (275,931)
Assumption, IL
68, joined May. 2010